Thought Exploration #5 | Embracing Fear
All thought exploration posts are prepended with this disclaimer:
All of the following words are my reality as I know it. My reality, like most others, is filled the misconceptions, misunderstandings, biases, errors, and delusions. These words are explorations of thought and make no claims of authority, informativeness, or substance – though they may provide these things regardless.
On with the post:
Traditionally, anything that makes me afraid, I toss aside, I shovel away, I ignore, or I try to solve it. I do everything I can to not let that fear take hold of me. A few months ago, I had an interesting experience with fear. I decided to stare at the thing I feared (at the time it was a hallucination combined with a delusion) and just let whatever emotions brew up from that take over me. I expected horror, panic, to flee.
The interesting thing that happened was I didn't feel any of those things. Instead, I felt a sensation wash over my body, and the sensation was almost identical to what I now know as love. It makes sense, in a way. To love is to make yourself vulnerable. To fear is to understand your vulnerability. It seems to me that to embrace both of those things, you can accomplish what I consider the three most essential human imperatives; to survive, adapt, and create change in the universe.